By: Suzan Ambrose
TRT Columnist
Gay sex. Gay marriage. Are the two exclusive of each other? Can there be one without the other? Of course, I realize it's possible and certainly probable. But, for just how long?
Does marriage change the dynamic of a couple's relationship, particularly those of gays and lesbians? I mean, really, heteros have been saying it was so for years. We've listened to our married straight friend whine about the lack of "getting some" for eons. I just assumed it was because the children my breeder friends had created in their own images had managed to invade all available time and energy that one would normally devote to makin' whoopee. Not whoopee pies with Play-Doh.
But with California's most recent Supreme Court ruling, and now New York jumping onto the "let's get hitched" disco train, it appears gay marriage is the main course on the gay menu.
"Ok, I think I'll start with a little foreplay, say, for an appetizer … a lifelong marriage (medium rare, please!) ... and a stiff brandy to wash it all down with, thank you very much!"
And then … on to dessert. Sweet, sensuous, luscious dessert! There's always room for that in the gay dining room!
Or at least until the bed-room meets the b-o-r-e-d- room.
Same bat time, same bat channel seems all fun and (wedding) games before one says "I do"… but how many gay people want more?
I've been told monogamy can be synonymous with bed death. Specifically, I am referring to the dreaded lesbian bed death (LBD). I don't think gay men are afflicted by this phenomenon (Boys? Can you write in when you finish up with "dessert"?), but maybe all long-term relationships suffer it to some extent.
This little- talked about symptom of committed, comfortable relationships, shows it's pretty little face in many a loving partnership. Even in straight ones.
So could it be it's not just lesbians that get LBD but all women? A German study has shown that female sex drive greatly diminishes once a woman is in a secure relationship. The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%. In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.
I could have told them that before they spent all that money.
Dr Dietrich Klusmann, lead author of the study, said women have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship, in order to form a "pair bond" with their partner. But, once this bond is sealed, a woman's sexual appetite declines.
Professor George Fieldman, an evolutionary psychologist from Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College sums it up this way: "The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."
Well, that bites. Come on… haven't they invented a pill for this yet? Pharmaceutical companies are always itching to come out with a "Just One More Thing You Have Wrong With You That We'll Say Cures You As Long As You Buy Our Pill" kinda thing. Where are the researchers to help women get a little more Snickerdoodle Pie?
You don't hear too many people admitting they've had trouble in the bedroom, but just look at the erectile dysfunction ads. What a PR job they did on that!. Why, it almost looks like a great good time to be stuck (Or is that struck?) with an erection for 12 hours or so!
I don't think marriage is the primary culprit here, although marriage does change the energy between two beings. The "chase" is gone, the "dream" finalized. And isn't that the most thrilling part to most people? In fact, isn't that what makes affairs so attractive? (Bad. Bad Kitty, for even thinking that. Where's my gay spanking?)
Ten months ago, British pop star Pete Burns was the latest celebrity to marry his male partner. Burns, previously married to a woman for 28 years, is now splitting with his male lover, stating gay relationships were a "commercial break" compared with the "full movie" of (straight) marriage. He also thought promiscuity was much too prevalent in the gay world to make unions meaningful.
Just a commercial break? That's … what? 5 minutes? Longer than the relationship some men have with their right hands, if you get right down to it. And these days, most commercials do add up being longer than the shows themselves!
Royally, since we're speaking of the Brits. How dare someone attack my ability to have a meaningful relationship, just because they didn't share the same experience? (And P.S. I tend to think of my life more as a drive-in theater, with the moonlight shining down, complete with a big screen, surround sound and a bunch of friends all huddled around with their families, waiting to see just how this double feature ends! "Lights! Action! Camera! We're rolling!")
Because it seems that there's something truly magical afoot out there… in Canada, Massachussetts, Vermont, Amsterdam, and now New York. And so many other states with civil unions and domestic partnership. It seems clear that there are plenty of people eager to sign up for that "full movie" Pete Burns decided he himself wasn't capable of watching all the way through.
But I'll take some popcorn and a large root beer with that, thank you. And lots and lots of dessert afterwards.
* Suzan Ambrose can be heard on her call-in talk radio program, The Naked Truth, Mondays at 8 pm, and Tuesdays at 2 a.m., on 103.3FM, Northampton , or via the web at: www.valleyfreeradio.org. For more of Suz's thoughts, check out: www.nakedtruthshow.com. Got feedback? suz@nakedtruthshow.com.
TRT Columnist
Gay sex. Gay marriage. Are the two exclusive of each other? Can there be one without the other? Of course, I realize it's possible and certainly probable. But, for just how long?
Does marriage change the dynamic of a couple's relationship, particularly those of gays and lesbians? I mean, really, heteros have been saying it was so for years. We've listened to our married straight friend whine about the lack of "getting some" for eons. I just assumed it was because the children my breeder friends had created in their own images had managed to invade all available time and energy that one would normally devote to makin' whoopee. Not whoopee pies with Play-Doh.
But with California's most recent Supreme Court ruling, and now New York jumping onto the "let's get hitched" disco train, it appears gay marriage is the main course on the gay menu.
"Ok, I think I'll start with a little foreplay, say, for an appetizer … a lifelong marriage (medium rare, please!) ... and a stiff brandy to wash it all down with, thank you very much!"
And then … on to dessert. Sweet, sensuous, luscious dessert! There's always room for that in the gay dining room!
Or at least until the bed-room meets the b-o-r-e-d- room.
Same bat time, same bat channel seems all fun and (wedding) games before one says "I do"… but how many gay people want more?
I've been told monogamy can be synonymous with bed death. Specifically, I am referring to the dreaded lesbian bed death (LBD). I don't think gay men are afflicted by this phenomenon (Boys? Can you write in when you finish up with "dessert"?), but maybe all long-term relationships suffer it to some extent.
This little- talked about symptom of committed, comfortable relationships, shows it's pretty little face in many a loving partnership. Even in straight ones.
So could it be it's not just lesbians that get LBD but all women? A German study has shown that female sex drive greatly diminishes once a woman is in a secure relationship. The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%. In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.
I could have told them that before they spent all that money.
Dr Dietrich Klusmann, lead author of the study, said women have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship, in order to form a "pair bond" with their partner. But, once this bond is sealed, a woman's sexual appetite declines.
Professor George Fieldman, an evolutionary psychologist from Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College sums it up this way: "The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."
Well, that bites. Come on… haven't they invented a pill for this yet? Pharmaceutical companies are always itching to come out with a "Just One More Thing You Have Wrong With You That We'll Say Cures You As Long As You Buy Our Pill" kinda thing. Where are the researchers to help women get a little more Snickerdoodle Pie?
You don't hear too many people admitting they've had trouble in the bedroom, but just look at the erectile dysfunction ads. What a PR job they did on that!. Why, it almost looks like a great good time to be stuck (Or is that struck?) with an erection for 12 hours or so!
I don't think marriage is the primary culprit here, although marriage does change the energy between two beings. The "chase" is gone, the "dream" finalized. And isn't that the most thrilling part to most people? In fact, isn't that what makes affairs so attractive? (Bad. Bad Kitty, for even thinking that. Where's my gay spanking?)
Ten months ago, British pop star Pete Burns was the latest celebrity to marry his male partner. Burns, previously married to a woman for 28 years, is now splitting with his male lover, stating gay relationships were a "commercial break" compared with the "full movie" of (straight) marriage. He also thought promiscuity was much too prevalent in the gay world to make unions meaningful.
Just a commercial break? That's … what? 5 minutes? Longer than the relationship some men have with their right hands, if you get right down to it. And these days, most commercials do add up being longer than the shows themselves!
Royally, since we're speaking of the Brits. How dare someone attack my ability to have a meaningful relationship, just because they didn't share the same experience? (And P.S. I tend to think of my life more as a drive-in theater, with the moonlight shining down, complete with a big screen, surround sound and a bunch of friends all huddled around with their families, waiting to see just how this double feature ends! "Lights! Action! Camera! We're rolling!")
Because it seems that there's something truly magical afoot out there… in Canada, Massachussetts, Vermont, Amsterdam, and now New York. And so many other states with civil unions and domestic partnership. It seems clear that there are plenty of people eager to sign up for that "full movie" Pete Burns decided he himself wasn't capable of watching all the way through.
But I'll take some popcorn and a large root beer with that, thank you. And lots and lots of dessert afterwards.
* Suzan Ambrose can be heard on her call-in talk radio program, The Naked Truth, Mondays at 8 pm, and Tuesdays at 2 a.m., on 103.3FM, Northampton , or via the web at: www.valleyfreeradio.org. For more of Suz's thoughts, check out: www.nakedtruthshow.com. Got feedback? suz@nakedtruthshow.com.
The Controversial Couch
