SNAP TO IT
Ramona Singer infamously called Kodak antiquated, much to the chagrin of Jill Zarin, who was hosting an event on the company’s behalf during a season three episode of The Real Housewives of New York. Points go to Team Jill for that round, because Ramona was way off base. In fact, the iconic brand is as cutting-edge as they come where affordable consumer technology is involved. Case in point: the EasyShare M580, the world’s thinnest 14-megapixel, five-times-zoom digital camera. The pocket-sized point-and-shoot also features a Share Button, which allows users to tag and upload pics to Facebook, YouTube, the Kodak Gallery and Flickr within seconds of plugging it into a computer. Mmhmm. Whatcha got now, Ramona? ($199.95;www.kodak.com)
RINSE & REPEAT
Shower time is sacred. And simplehuman aims to make it even better with its twin wall mounts with basket. Wide openings on the shampoo and conditioner dispensers prevent messy spills (is there such a thing in the shower?) and makes refills fast and easy. Convenient storage hooks hold a razor, loofah or other accessories and the square tissue holder features an integrated clamp that keeps the box from falling out. Although, if you’re blowing your nose in the bath, you’ve likely got bigger issues than escaping tissues. Mount secures to a dry wall in 24 hours with silicone glue. ($69.99; www.simplehuman.com)
DRINK TANK
If you’re still buying bottle water on a daily basis, you’re behind the times. Not only is it expensive, but it’s also bad for the environment. In fact, you probably own a small part of your local landfill by now. For shame! Reduce your carbon footprint by investing in 3M’s latest innovation, the Filtrete Water Station, which features four reusable water bottles that fill with fresh, filtered H2O. The liquid station provides the approximate recommended daily water intake – 64 ounces – with each bottle containing 16.9 ounces. The bottles are BPA-free with leak-proof caps and can be washed conveniently on the top rack. Cut down. Drink up. ($38; www.filtrete.com)
OFF THE CUFF
Picture it: You’re at your fave guppie’s Chrismukkah party (because he’s still “in lurve” with Seth Cohen) when tragedy strikes; the batteries in the electric bottle opener have died and your sanity is in danger. What to do? You reach for the barware drawer to retrieve a manual device just as you’re reminded that such “primitive items” don’t reside at that dwelling. Don’t slap the bitch. Collect yourself and think. It’ll come to you. A-ha! Your stainless steel bottle opener cuff links that you said you’d never use. At least not in public, anyway. But don’t be ashamed. You saved the day and, let’s be honest, you’ll embarrass yourself in other ways. Starting in about three hours. ($50;www.cufflinks.com)
PRODIGAL SUN
Go green while gettin’ down with Solar Sound 2, the new and improved sun-powered portable speakers from pioneering company Devotec. Building upon the success of the original Solar Sound, this upgrade promises a superior listening experience with the use of specialty woven speaker cones; silver-plated, oxygen-free copper cabling; an efficient power circuit to provide even more juice to the amp; and a larger integrated battery that increases playing time to five to 10 hours, depending on the volume level. That’s where the sun comes in. With its embedded solar panel and quick charging system, the unit can play continuously under UV rays – even when the built-in battery is dead. Party on, party boy. ($99.99; www.devotecindustries.com)
THE BIGGER PICTURE
There are digital photo frames, and then there’s the CEIVA digital photo frame. What’s the difference? For starters, CEIVA frames come preloaded with your favorite pics, so when the recipient opens the box your pearly whites are peering right back. But that’s not the best part. The frames are connected, allowing anyone, anywhere to send photos directly to the frame by camera phone, e-mail, Facebook and more – a nice surprise for grandma when she walks in to see new pictures from her favorite gay grandson. Unless her favorite gay grandson hits the wrong button, of course. But then, he really shouldn’t have such scandalous content stored on his Droid, now should he? ($127.99 and up; www.ceiva.com)
GARDEN VARIETY
Paging Peg Bundy! Al’s trophy wife loved her some bonbons – but probably not this kind. Moulton’s Bon Bons are truffle-shaped mounds of clay and organic compost combined with seeds. The Garden pack features two each of basil, parsley, chives and thyme, while the herb tea selection includes double quantities of borage, chamomile, lemon balm and Stinging Nettle. Just toss the handcrafted clay balls into the garden or an indoor container, add water, and watch them grow. Perfect for that crazy uncle who “talks” his plants. Misery loves company. ($14.95;www.moultonology.com)
THE POTTY EXPRESS
Small children do exactly three things – eat, sleep and wail. That is, when they’re not relieving themselves wherever they want like incontinent animals. Since you can’t outfit the kid with an electronic collar that’ll teach it to piss and poo in the pot (silly laws!), you have to train the little bugger – which can be a nightmare in itself. To make life easier, the people at Baby Signs have created a potty training kit that makes go time interactive, easy and – you can be the judge of this – fun. The kit comes with a parents’ guide, the “All Aboard the Potty Train” DVD, All About the Potty Train board book and conductor’s whistle, and Job Well Done! Stickers. Hooray for stickers! Just wash your hands before you start doling those out, OK? ($39.95;www.pottytrainwithbabysigns.com)
COME WHAT CLAY
Crate & Barrel and Bed Bath & Beyond deserve mad props – mostly because they’ve got the wedding-gift market on lock. Think about it. Even when you don’t know where a dear friend (or a not-so-dear friend for whom you’re obligated to buy a gift) is registered, you can bet they’ve signed up for swag at one of those stores. But don’t fall prey.
BIKES FOR DYKES
Sexy ladies have long had a love affair with motorcycles. Seems unlikely, but examine the evidence; nobody’s forcing those busty blonds and brunettes to bend over the handlebars in every bike rag sitting on newsstands. One could argue that the female species likes the feeling of all that power between their legs, no? (Insert your own dirty joke here.) Whatever the case may be, California Scooter Co. has carved a niche in the market for women who have a need for speed with three styles – Classic, Greaser and Babydoll – and a custom-built option. The company claims on its website that you’re in for the ride of your life. And if one of these is waiting for your honey in the garage on Christmas morning, you probably will be. ($4,995 and up;
SHAVE THE WAY
This ain’t your daddy’s razor. The Philips Norelco SensoTouch 3D uses GyroFlex 3D technology to enable three-dimensional contouring that pivots around, tilts inward and flexes outward to adjust seamlessly to every curve of the face and neck.
The UltraTrack heads include channels to catch longer hairs, slots to catch normal hairs, and holes to catch even the shortest stubble, cutting every hair with fewer strokes. Designed to be innovative and attractive in function and design, this cordless, electric shaver also features the SkinGlide system that combines a smooth surface with rounded edges to glide effortlessly over his manly mug. Kyan would be proud. ($199-$349;
www.store.philips.com)HAUTE DOG
It’s no secret that gays pamper their pets. Custom feeders, top-of-line leashes, sherpa-lined winter parkas – we go all out when it comes to our furbabies. And why not? They’re loyal, they don’t talk back, and they want to cuddle when that guy from Grindr doesn’t. Now your pooch can shimmer and shine like the star it is with Bowl Me Over dog tags fromWags & Tags, maker of luxury pet pendants. The three-dimensional design is composed of non-tarnishing sterling silver with silver beads framing the entire circumference of the bowl. Five bones wrap around the side, and a stainless steel connector that’s snap- and crack-proof secures the tag to your dog’s collar. Available in small, medium and large sizes. ($199-$559;
GO THE EXTRA SMILE
Unless your dentist looks like John Stamos, you’d rather stay away. Which presents a problem if you covet bright white chompers. Sure, there are over-the-counter bleaching methods – and they’re relatively inexpensive – but they’re also messy and often painful. Simple, safe and effective, Supersmile takes a bite out of the competition with a clinically proven gift set that includes a Professional Series II LS45 Advanced Sonic Pulse Toothbrush (with patented 45-degree angled bristles) and a three-month supply of its professional whitening system. The system safely whitens natural teeth and restores bonding, veneers, caps and dentures to their original splendor. It also strengthens enamel and eliminates harmful bacteria, plaque and gingivitis. The one thing it won’t do, however, is cure morning breath; dude is still gonna taste icky in the a.m. ($159;
NEURAL TUBE
While movie tickets continue to climb, the ultimate in home-viewing entertainment gets more accessible. The Toshiba WX800 Cinema Series 3D LED HDTV delivers an impressive three-dimensional experience within a premium, ultra-thin package. Beyond its luxe look, the WX800 is a wonder worthy of the Cinema Series label, with an array of picture enhancements and wireless access to hundreds of streaming content options. In addition, beautiful cosmetics (a depth of less than 1.2 inches and sleek chrome trim) and state-of-the-art features (multiple 3D input formats, including MPEG4-MVC, RealD) make this powerhouse the perfect choice for today’s most demanding home theater connoisseurs. It goes without saying, too, that it’s conducive to some serious cuddling. ($2,599 and up;
BUZZED ABOUT
Handcrafted. All natural. Sulfate-free. These are the words that describeBeecology, a line of skin and hair care products from the family-owned and -operated, Ohio-based company. Stock up on earthy soaps, shampoos and lip balms for gifs that keep on giving all year round. ($2.99 and up; www.beecology.com)
‘MODERN FAMILY’ AND ‘GLEE’ ON DVD
Forget to set your TIVO last year? Never fear. TV’s gayest new series come packed with tons of extras and special features in season-one box sets perfect for anyone craving awkward laughter and impromptu musical numbers. (TBD;
DIY DESSERT
Take notes, Hershey. Chocri customers can create their own sweet snack online, which is then hand-manufactured in Germany with premium Belgian chocolate. Just choose a base (dark, milk or white), then select from over 100 toppings, which includes traditional accompaniments like dried fruit and nuts and out-of-the-ordinary options like real gold flakes, jalapenos and bacon. ($6.90 and up;
Get your glug on anytime, anywhere with The Original Disposable Flask, a lightweight, durable, collapsible and freezable portal of potency that fits perfectly in a pocket or purse. Great for one-time use or as reusable, refillable respite. ($2.99; www.disposableflasks.com)
LIGHT ’EM UP
His bulbs will shine bright in these festive trunks from Pact, an eco-friendly and cause-conscious underwear shop. A portion of the proceeds will help charitable organizations EarthSpark and Citizen Effect send handheld solar lanterns to Haitians in need. ($22;
SPICE OF LIFE
Surprise the amateur chef in your life with tsp spices’ Set for the Holidays, six tins of essential organic herbs for the seasonal kitchen. Each palm-sized box contains a bounty of fresh flavor to make delicious dishes like roast turkey, gingerbread cookies, pumpkin pie, mulled wine and more. ($40;
‘SCANDLE’-OUS
Turn up the heat with Scandle, a shimmery candle that burns two degrees above body temperature to produce a soothing body oil in a relaxing aroma. Perfect for massages, cuticle treatments or as an everyday moisturizer. ($22.95;
POWER HOUR
Motivate your partner to get moving with S2H Replay, a wristband that offers rewards for physical activity. Earn 60 points for every hour of exercise, which can be cashed in for prizes like gift cards, movie tickets, Wii consoles and iPods. ($19.95;
PANTY RAID
Fun, flirty and affordable, Affinitas Intimates offer packaged panties in both hipster and thong styles fabricated from comfy stretch lace and mesh. Three-packs come in assorted, solid colors and one size that fits waists zero to eight. ($28;
* Mikey Rox is an award-winning writer/journalist and the founder of Paper Rox Scissors, a copywriting and creative consulting company in New York City. He can be reached at
mikey@paperroxscissors.com.