Traveling while Trans

This summer, I’m looking forward to sun-brewed iced tea, abundant summer produce, time with my family, romps with my dog, Sadie, at the dog park, and trips near and far. While my spirit soars with possibilities and the call of adventure, my stomach clenches with dread.

Traveling while trans can bring a host of issues. The issues are as varied as trans bodies and experiences (which is to say: very). Some are not entirely unique, like bathing-suit-phobia. Others are pretty specific to the trans community, like wondering where on earth to pee on that 2 week road trip.

Here are some of the concerns trans people may face while traveling-and some steps to reduce them.

Where to pee: For any trans person who doesn’t pass or doesn’t conform to gender norms, figuring out where to pee can be an art form.
Some only use the bathroom at home, which is a challenge when you leave home for more than a few hours. While traveling, you can’t know where all the safe bathrooms are, so notice where you’re more likely to find single-stall bathrooms (at gas station/convenience stores, for example). If you have an iPhone or similar device, you can access apps like Have2Pee, which provides information about nearby bathrooms based on your location.

Swimming: I don’t know many people, trans or cis, who love how they look in a bathing suit. However, bathing suits can reveal anatomy or scars trans people usually dress to conceal. Shorts and a t-shirt may be an option, but so is a burqa: neither method of concealment is ideal if you want to get wet. FTMs who haven’t had top surgery can find some pretty decent (if expensive) swimsuit options on Underworks (ftm.underworks.com). Or get creative. Trunks and a muscle shirt can work in a pinch. A packy stuffed in briefs can be stuffed, instead, in knee-high hose, and the “package” can be pinned inside trunks or a Speedo.

Sleeping in close quarters: For anyone who binds, sleeping in close quarters with others-even if they know you’re trans-may make you inclined to stay bound 24/7. If you don’t have other sleeping options, consider less restrictive means of binding overnight. (Championusa.com has softer sports bras for as low as $14.99 and similar products are available at Target and Costco for less.) Not binding enough? Trust me: no one is thinking about your chest as much as you are. And no one will revoke your trans card for wearing a comfortable sports bra under a baggy shirt so that you can get some shut-eye.

Dealing with disrespect: Traveling involves interacting with people you don’t know or who you normally choose to spend less time with-like family members who don’t “get” transgender. You may feel like your gender identity is under frequent attack by people who call you the wrong name or pronoun. With “known” disrespect, like from family members, think about what challenges lie ahead and how to handle them. Be clear with your allies-travel companions and partners, especially-about what you need from them. Correct mom every time-or every 45th time-she uses the wrong pronoun? Have a private talk with Uncle Bob before your visit? For “unknowns,” like strangers who may be clueless, prepare an “elevator speech” response. Remember that most strangers don’t actually care what gender you are and they are more embarrassed by their error than they want you to know. You might explain that you’re trans and prefer male pronouns, or you might say “I’m sorry… Did you just call me ‘ma’am’?” while looking puzzled. Counting to 10 and letting it go is also a perfectly valid response, if it keeps you sane and safe. Speaking of which …

Staying safe: Safety is a huge issue for many trans people. Some general guidelines to keep in mind include staying in well-lit public areas, sticking close to a traveling companion who is aware of the dangers you face, and staying alert.  Beware of making assumptions about where you’re safe and where you’re not. I know people who are terrified of traveling to the Deep South. That brutal attack on a trans woman in McDonald’s last month? Baltimore, Maryland. Rita Hester’s murder that led to the first Trans Day of Remembrance? Boston. Rural, urban, north, south, in the U.S., overseas … no single area is categorically safe, and no single area is categorically dangerous. Generalizations miss the specifics, and if you are ever in danger, it will be a very specific danger to your very specific person.

To all of you traveling while trans this summer, I wish you fun, sun and safety. Pack your sunscreen-and don’t forget to use it!
Questions about the FTM experience? Comments or ideas? Email Ty at tynanpower@yahoo.com.

*Tynan Power is a parent, a writer, a progressive Muslim leader, an interfaith organizer, a (very slow) runner, mostly a big goof, sometimes taken too seriously, loving, gentle, queer and queer-cultured, a pen geek, often dehydrated, full of wanderlust. He also happens to be a transgender man.