Why is America So Homophobic?

Posted By: The Rainbow Times December 11, 2011

May 11, 2011
By: Echo Brooks*/TRT Online Columnist

Watching a young gay waiter in a family restaurant I tried to put myself in a typical American male’s shoes and see if I could understand what was so threatening about him. I watched how he moved and how he served the customers. I wondered how long it took him to put the little amount of hair he wore in such a perfect position. I thought about him standing in front of the mirror. Then I imagined his lover coming in the bathroom behind him. At that moment I realized, as a straight man, the only reason I might hate him would be because he was intimate with another man in the privacy of his own environment. It was also then that I realized homophobia in America is largely due in part to our hang-ups with sexuality in general.

There are countless countries where gay people are treated far worse than here, but just as many where they are treated better, more like their straight counterparts. There are places that I dream of living, where lesbian and gay couples can walk the same streets showing the same affection as straight couples do. There are countries where same sex relationships mix and mingle with normalcy. Places that don’t frown on love and sex. Until America can get past the fear of intimacy we will never get past homophobia.

In cultures where men are very comfortable with their sexuality, their emotions and their sensitive side, there seems to be more tolerance and less homophobia. There is more acceptance of sex in general.  The need to be strong and resist sensitivity is the driving force for homophobia in this country. It is a test of wills and a denial of emotion. It seems that somewhere in our pursuit to keep all pure and devout, we have created a society that has tried to keep love, sex and intimacy hidden. We frown on breast feeding in the open, public displays of affection, nude sunbathers and especially the LGBT community. We have taken some of the most natural, beautiful experiences in life and perverted them. The American man has taken perceived principle and stood by it even when it defied logic and feeling. Giving in to what they know to be right would be a sign of weakness. Homophobia is nothing but a power struggle with little validity.

In Europe it is common to see a “man bag” over the shoulder of many men. In most places in the United States a man would be ridiculed. The difference is not the country; it’s the state of mind. Homophobia is not about the gay man or the lesbian woman at all. It is about the possibility of the straight man having to admit emotions and sexuality existing outside of their comfort zone. Homophobia is not natural it is taught. Homophobia in America is not a fear of homosexuals; it is a fear of admitting emotion.

Echo resides in northern New Jersey with her wife and the two youngest of their five children. You can visit her blog at dysphoricallyspeaking.blogspot.com or send comments and questions to dysphoricallyspeaking@gmail.com

banner ad